Three Thieves and a lot of fruit

Three thieves break into the King’s gardens. They steal fruit, but are caught and dragged into the King’s court.

“All three of you are thieves! The penalty is DEATH!” the King bellowed at them.

Each of them crawled on their bellies, begging for their lives.

“Very well, lowly curs,” said the King. “I will spare your lives. Each of you go back into my gardens, and since you’re soooo hungry, each of you pick 30 pieces of fruit and bring them back here!”

The first thief returned, carrying a bowl with 30 grapes in it.

“Your life is spared,” said the King. “But only if you shove each and every piece of fruit you picked up your bottom!”

The first thief pushed each grape up his bottom. He giggled as he did so.

“What’s amusing, thief?” asked the King.

“The guy behind me picked oranges, lord,” the Thief replied.

The second thief was brought before the King, and sure enough he had a basket with 30 oranges within.

The same sentence was given to him, and he pushed each large orange fruit up his nether orifice. As he did so, he laughed out loud until tears ran down his face.

“Well, slave? What’s so damned funny now?” asked the King.

“My lord,” the thief replied, still laughing, “the greedy prick behind me picked watermelons!”

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