Before Watchmen: debunking its mythology at random

Minutemen:

1. the Nazis didn’t count an unusual number of sexual perverts in their ranks, and they certainly didn’t run weird sex abuse rings from child homes and orphanages. In fact, the largely jewish-run pornography and prostitution organised crime rackets were destroyed by the Nazis. Allowing for their puritanical views on liberal arts, most of the books they ACTUALLY burnt were pornography, sexually explicit, or marxist.

2. making Hollis Mason into a murderer is so far away from how Moore and Gibbons originally created the character it’s almost a crime in and of itself.

Silk Spectre:

1. the entire chronology is wrong. So wrong it’s almost open to question if it’s deliberate. The hippy-esque “scene” is years out of step with reality, as is the escalation of Viet Nam.

2. did Silk Spectre II run away when she was fourteen? Sixteen? Beyond bizarre.

3. Edward Bernays and his engineering of consent was created in the 1920s and 1930s, not the 1960s.

Nite Owl

1. overlapping Nite Owl and Nite Owl II like this is wrong based on how the characters interact in WATCHMEN. It’s nonsensical. It also doesn’t fit their dynamic from the original masterwork. Straczynski at his worst.

Comedian

1. odd to see them tie themselves up in knots trying to make this character somehow sympathetic in his motivations. It shows up starkly how inferior in talent the Before Watchmen hacks are, despite their effectively infinite resources, compared to Alan Moore who evoked sympathy simply by contrasting events and the human condition.

Moloch

1. his origin is horribly out of keeping with his character in WATCHMEN. Of course he was a crime lord in the masterwork but with none of this suggestion of murderous nastiness. If anything he almost seemed a naif- in the sense that it was “fun” being a costumed villain until Manhattan began a murderous elimination of his henchmen, etc.

2. having Ozymandias waste such resources on him for no reason is a strawman setup to the Before Watchmen story but makes no sense whatsoever. He was just an “employee” of a subsidiary not an inhabitant of Ozymandias’ tower. If you aren’t going to really research and understand the original when making a cash-in pastiche like Before Watchmen, what is the earthly fucking POINT?

 

Absent from Before Watchmen

What is missing from this turgid hackfest by the leading prostitutes of the industry?

1. normal people. Remember all those normal people in the original? Where the fuck did they go? Corporate comicbook sausage makers are so divorced from reality it doesn’t even occur to them that normal people exist as actual living humans, just as backdrop to their awesome socialist wankery.

2. straightforward, ruthless and efficient evil. Ozymandias didn’t have an intricate plan. It was actually a simplistic comicbook plan which Alan Moore as writer was able to make work because it was his universe to which to dictate outcomes. As with his silly socialist politics in WATCHMEN his howlers can be made to come true in his own fictional universe- in WATCHMEN as in DARK KNIGHT RETURNS the world really is facing nuclear war, rather than in our world where that was just more bullshit. But in Before Watchmen we don’t even have actual plots- just insane arbitrary strawmen after strawmen- whether it’s the patriotic japs stopping the eeevil japs or it’s the stupidity of having Moloch working directly under Veidt or the ludicrous child abduction Hooded Justice character abuse.

3. No single character must be allowed not to be a murderer or pervert. Thus at a stroke the homosexual relationship of Metropolis and Justice must be sadomasochistic; Sillhouette must be a killer; Mason must be a killer; Silk Spectre must be a killer for fucks sake. Contrast with Comedian: zero. I wonder when I see this sort of crap whether it isn’t shades of the deliberate sabotage of Shazam over the years- own brands- but cripple them to enable the weaker brands like Superman and Batman to obtain and keep pre-eminence. No repeat of the breakout success of Wildstorm must be allowed again.

4. bad jews. Great pains are taken to put anti-semitism into the books for no good reason at all other than to paint all the jewish characters in a sympathetic light. Never miss a chance, eh?

2 thoughts on “Before Watchmen: debunking its mythology at random”

  1. Snyder didnt get the movie right. I went to that piece of shit and walked out mumbling ”he changed the ending” Watchman i thought was un able to be fucked up too badly and i was wrong. Now this. The whole destruction of Moores work by Hollywood is only helping the Xmen shit and Ben AFFleckman and that giant over rated turd Christopher Nolan. No offense to Nolans everywhere. But DC continues to put out trash like the last Superman and Batman movies. Then they take a Graphic Novel that should of been 3 movies and ruin it despite it being profitable at the box office. Then Let Nolan and Snyder DESTROY any good left in the BATMAN franchise. So when i see before Watchman i know it HAS to be to keep Batty and Clark at the top of the heap when they are REALLY TIRED. Give it to Marvel they stay away from the deep well crafted stuff and keep it LIGHT and Breezy. Fun because after all that is what made me love WATCHMEN the novel IT WAS FUN. Nothing fun about before Watchmen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t even like Alan Moore, and I certainly don’t agree with either his luciferian religion or his socialist sensibilities, but as a writer of comicbooks, he is top of the tree.

      As such, his artistic choices, even to the extent of whether or not sequels or cash-ins should be made, have to be respected.

      Anyone who doesn’t respect the artistic choices of a creator and whores themselves for money is the definition of a hack.

      It’s Gail Simone’s MO- she panders to the sycophantic fans, then toes the company line. Her only deviation from her Mom’s Friendly Robot Company facade is when DC fucks with her- then it’s evil versus evil and she takes the gloves off and breaks solidarity from Warner Bros. Once she gets what she wants or gets bought off it’s right back to corporate whoring.

      Contemptible.

      Like

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